10 Random Poker Quotes

• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• the perfect poker player deploys his masterful execution of logic and then litters it with chaotic sequences of lunacy.
• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Fook the floosh droo!
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."