10 Random Poker Quotes

• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."