10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "Poker is just like the fucking universe man, the different combinations and outs are infinite so it's pointless racking your mind about bad beats and shit" Stephen Morris
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?