10 Random Poker Quotes

• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Hold em' is like sex... everyone thinks they are great at it, but most people dont know what the hell they are doing.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)