10 Random Poker Quotes

• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "I already messed this hand up pretty good, so I may as well call." Chris Ferguson
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.