10 Random Poker Quotes

• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• "I dont mind getting beaten by a good player, and I dont even mind getting beaten by a bad player, but I cant stand getting beaten by a bad player who thinks he is good." H.L.B. Tunica, MS
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers