10 Random Poker Quotes

• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "If the flop don't fit, you must aquit" -Matt Thornton, Dayton, Ohio
• No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• "So again, do not raise in No Limit Hold'em -- especially tournaments -- if there is a reasonable chance that a reraise will make you throw up." -- David Sklansky (Tournament Poker for Advanced Players)
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."