10 Random Poker Quotes

• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)
• "In low limit hold em' deception plays a less significant role. Either someone is already looking at that hand or will call out of curiousity." ---Lee Jones
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.