10 Random Poker Quotes

• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• how do you know when simon trumper has just got lucky? a bit of his hair falls out.
• Asked why he played in a game known to be crooked, a player replied, "But it's the only game in town."
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer