10 Random Poker Quotes

• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword
• Nobody knows where the hobo goes when it snows.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm