10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Oh give me a break, Ace-eight! I guess some people like getting their money in as a 3-to-1 underdog." -Phil Hellmuth, at the 2004 WSOP
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "Hooks (pair of Jacks) are for Fish. You've got to flop 'em, fold 'em, or fornicate 'em." Johnnie Moss