10 Random Poker Quotes

• Never educate a stupid poker player.
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Poker is for loners.