10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I want him to think that I am pondering a call, but all I'm really thinkin about it Vegas and the fuckin' Mirage." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• If luck wasn't a factor, I'd win every one. -Phil Hellmuth
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• If you raise with 72 offsuit, you get to raise when the flops is 7-7-2, ... once in your life. If you fold 72 offsuit, you get the free time to study your opponents or the waitresses and avoid polishing the rail with your sweater ... tough decision!
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo