10 Random Poker Quotes

• You have to piss with the dick you have
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• Wise man say, "man who seeks revenge, should did two graves" ActionDave
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Darwin takes a toll on the worst poker players because they lose money, Darwin takes a toll on average poker players because they don't make money and they will never be a great poker players, Darwin takes the greatest toll though, on the greatest poker players, because they could be doing something greater.