10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• If you don't want to get beat on the river, don't get in a hand with me. -- Dan Nelson
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "So, what did you have?" "A pair...of balls."
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."