10 Random Poker Quotes

• "What've you got, Layne?" "You BEAT." Final table banter between Layne Flack and Mike "The Mouth" Matusow. $ 6,000 No Limit Hold'em Final Day 2004 Ultimatebet.com Poker Classic Radisson Aruba Resort & Casino, Palm Beach
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• "It's always good to get a nice dick-suckin before a tournament...it calms the senses." Alex Powers