10 Random Poker Quotes

• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• "The last time I saw this many Bad Hands was the Shoplifter's Convention in Vegas!" by flintsword