10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• You can't let it get you down when somebody knocks you out of a tournament playing a hand they shouldn't have played. Without these types of players, nobody would win any amount of money, so sometimes you just have to take your medicine. - T.J. Cloutier, Championship Omaha
• Take me to the river. Wash me in the water.
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "I guess the sayings' true. In the poker game of life, women are the rake man. They are the f---kin' rake." - Worm (Rounders, 1998)
• "Just play every hand, you can't miss them all." -Sammy Farha's reply to, "How does he do it?"
• Those eggs smell delicious!
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.