10 Random Poker Quotes

• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• There is less luck involved than a bad player thinks there is, and there more luck involved than a good player will admit there is
• With all the new poker players I cant play holdem with a pair of gloves
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.