10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Does this look like a man beat by jacks!"-Rounders
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• I don't want to be called a good loser. A good loser is still a loser. -Stu Unger
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• never rub another mans rhubarb, unless he has the nuts - Jack Nicholson
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen