10 Random Poker Quotes

• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• Playing poker for play money is like going to a strip club for the food. -UncleWaldo
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "No river, no fish."
• How do you get a professional poker player off your porch? Pay him for the pizza.
• Please screen your these quotes, most of the crap people submit here don't classify as poker quotes at all, they just express how badly those persons misunderstand the game of poker or how proud they are that they understand elemntry concepts such as "counting outs" or "pot odds", no one cares jerks
• some call cheating immoral, but then again, it's immoral to let a sucker keep his money.
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.