10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• If you play 69, always bet on the come.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• The greatest feeling is when you've broken your opponent's spirit & crushed his confidence. The fact that you've taken both his bankroll & the shirt off his back is just a bonus. Tom V. (Livonia, Michigan)