10 Random Poker Quotes

• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Sometimes nothing's a pretty cool hand -paul newman-
• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• Sex is good, but poker lasts longer.
• Poker is like petting a cat, you need some hands.
• You can't lead a horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the River.
• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant