10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• I'm just looking for a way to get outa here.... --------Doyle Brunson, goes all-in WSOP2003
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "What's the sound of shuffling a single card?" - tidytom
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• In the game of life, women are the rake. - Worm