10 Random Poker Quotes

• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "The poker player learns that sometimes both science and common sense are wrong; that the bumblebee can fly; that, perhaps, one should never trust an expert; that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of by those with an academic bent." -- David Mamet
• The only thing you lose by folding is the opportunity to win.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Remember these three simple words and you'll never go broke........ "Stick em Up!"
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• I don't really mind getting bad beats. Of course, 9 times out of 10, my superior cards will win. But that 1 time in 10 that someone catches lucky cards and beats me, I don't get mad. Because each of the next 9 times they think they can catch something adds another inch to my television.
• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs