10 Random Poker Quotes

• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• Sign hanging in old time saloon: Liquor in the front, poker in the rear. -The old sage.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Most poker players agree, having sex is much akin to playing a game - both require a good hand.
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"
• The next best thing to playing poker and winning, is playing poker and losing.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• I'm too good for you, you might as well flip those 2 cards over.