10 Random Poker Quotes

• i dont play any two suited cards. I play any two non suited cards, that way i am drawing at two different flushes
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Poker is like a horse, five letters, two vowels