10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Seldom do the lambs slaughter the butcher. -Amarillo Slim
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "In the Poker Game of Life women are the rake, they are the ______ rake." -Worm
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• I couldn't bet it, so I gave my Aunt $2 to make a bet for me. She didn't want me to be disappointed by losing my first bet, so she bought a show ticket. The horse won. It's been 40 years, I still havn't spoken to her again. --Gary Carson
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.