10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• See AA before the flop is like a smile from the girl of your dreams, see AA lose to a pour hand on the river feels like the same chick just gave you a bad case of blue balls
• Its better to have played and lost then to not have played at all Dick McWatters
• Overhead at a ring game during a tournament when people where discussing there bad beat knock outs etc "Ya I got knocked out of both tournies the same way....I got caught Bluffing"
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• "you got to know when to holdem, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run..."
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.