10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Concentrate. Don't do anything stupid. Catch some cards. ----Mrs. Cloutier, as TJ heads out to another tournament
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.