10 Random Poker Quotes

• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• How can I miss the flop so bad that I don't even have a straight draw? -Jdoe
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• "There are few things that are so unpardonably neglected in our country as poker. The upper class knows very little about it. Now and then you find ambassadors who have sort of a general knowledge of the game, but the ignorance of the people is fearful. Why, I have known clergymen, good men, kind-hearted, liberal, sincere, and all that, who did not know the meaning of a "flush". It is enough to make one ashamed of the species." --Mark Twain
• If you cant spot the fish in the first ten minutes, you are the fish.
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it