10 Random Poker Quotes

• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• you cannot have everything....where would you put it. (steven wright)
• " Dear Lord, help me to break even. I need the money."
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Liquor up front, poker in the rear
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• A pair of Aces with a low kicker is like a chick without nipples... -doyle brunson, circa 1986