10 Random Poker Quotes

• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• "Take my advice and do as you please" - TJ Cloutier
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Think of how stupid the average poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'