10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've noticed something funny ... the more I practice, the luckier I get. -- Jack Nicklaus
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• im going to 2 out you to death
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• ''when i bet i either have nuts or balls.''FRAN PINCHOT
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• I played poker with a real 10 last night, however on a slow night she only charges 5!
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• Some days you're the pigeon, some days you're the statue.