10 Random Poker Quotes

• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• The best feeling in the world if flopping the nut straight against two players acting before you who both flopped sets. I'll take my chances against 5 outs.
• The one who bets the most wins; cards just break ties.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• when you win its got to make a difference when you lose its got to hurt.
• Fook the floosh droo!
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• "The kiddie game is down the street!" - Mike "the Mouth" Matusow