10 Random Poker Quotes

• "First you're a champ, then you're a chimp, then you're a chump." [I was told this was a quote from Phil Hellmuth]
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• If only I'd read, "Winning at Internet Poker For Dummies." 'Til now, I never thought I qualified.
• Liquor in the front, Poker in the rear.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• If you can't quit the best hand, you can't play.
• Poker is for fat, American losers.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Someone on here said that "poker is for fat American losers". That sounds a lot like the ramblings of a foriegn homosexual who's busy scratching a broke ass.
• " The commonest mistake in history is underestimating your opponent; happens at the poker table all the time."