10 Random Poker Quotes

• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• I cried because I had no draw, until I met a man with no pair.
• I play like a mullet: tight up front and loose in the back.
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Frying bacon is much like playing poker; in each, a pig must be slaughtered and consumed by a superior being.
• You should pay as much as possible for a free card.
• "I'm broke one day and have a fortune the next day, and I don't give a damn" --Jack "Treetop" Straus--
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• "If i dont make that final table, nobody's gonna remember me next year. If i do make that final table, Im a poker legend overnight" - Dutch Boyd 2003 WSOP Main Event