10 Random Poker Quotes

• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
• "Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died." -- Steven Wright
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• You have to piss with the dick you have
• when a player asks me for lucky chips, i say they weren't lucky for the person i got them from
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• "It's hard work. Gambling. Playing poker. Don't let anyone tell you different. Think about what it's like sitting at a poker table with people whose only goal is to cut your throat, take your money, and leave you out back talking to yourself about what went wrong inside. That probably sounds harsh. But that's the way it is at the poker table. If you don't believe me, then you're the lamb that's going off to the slaughter." Stu Unger, three-time WSOP Champion
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• Poker is like life, most people don't learn from their mistakes they only recognize them. C.Arel