10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott, "Rounders"
• What did the pocket 3's say to the pocket 2's? Your a dead duck.
• To win a bit of money, make your opponent think your hand is stronger than it is. To win a lot of money, make him think your hand is weaker than it is. - Josh Avery
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• Whaddya think you're playing against- an empty chair?
• No bad beat can withstand the assault of laughter!
• Dan: I got the ace too, but I have nothing to kick you with. Ian: Well, you could always take your shoe off.
• Trying to find the odds (not percentage) for this hand. One person has JJ the other 1010. On the flop is J 10 10, what are the odds of this happening?
• Don't challenge strong players, challange weak ones. That's what they're there for. - John Vorhaus, author of Killer Poker