10 Random Poker Quotes

If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.
Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
"All-in, bitches!!!"
When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
After taking a beat: "How bad do they play?...This is the World Series of Poker!" -Phil Hellmuth Jr.
I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
Why not, when some because there are three.
No Limit Hold'em - Hours of boredom followed by moments of sheer terror.
Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'