10 Random Poker Quotes

• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• If it wasn't for luck, I'd win every hand.
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• The best thing about that hand was I wasn't in it
• Life is a gamble at terrible odds if it was a bet you would never take it