10 Random Poker Quotes

• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Play like a cunt, get fucked like one!
• If you can't spot the sucker at the table, guess what..
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."
• I used to go out, go dancing, and talk to the chicks. Now, my life has been down-sized to the couch, the laptop, and the occasional cranberry and rum. --The 5 card stud---
• Famous last words before he became a eunuch 'Id bet my bollocks on this hand'
• Nixon financed his first political campaign with money he won playing poker against his fellow naval officers.
• "never count your money when your sitting at the table, there will be time enough for counting, when the dealings done."
• Most of these quotes are abysmal and submitted by the sort of idiots who fill the partypoker chatbox with words like 'phuktard'
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die