10 Random Poker Quotes

• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• "I swear to god if you beat me and i will get my gun out of the car and kill you...and your family." -Uncle Remus
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.
• Poker is like sex - everyone thinks that they are the best at it but few actually know what they are doing - Layne Flack
• People who play poker often wear raw hide.
• "if you riffle shuffle a standard deck exactly 9 times the cards will return to its original position as it were prior to the 9 riffle shuffles."
• "See, in my world - the world of high-stakes gin and poker - we play for cold, hard cash. It's all business, pure and simple. Anyone who thinks cardplaying is a 'game' - I'll show you a loser. Money... M-O-N-E-Y. That's how you measure success. One dollar at a time. One chip at a time. That's how you keep score." Stu Unger
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• (after a particularly bad beat) "that was a terrible call" "it's called gambling" "no it's called really sucking at life especially poker and trying to throw your money away because your life is useless and you have been pondering suicide for the last week but getting lucky enough to keep it"