10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• "My luck is so bad, if it were raining pussy, I'd get hit in the head with a dick" -ItalianAce-
• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• When I was young, I heard that all you need is a chip and chair. Now that I am old, I realize that they weren't talking about tortilla chips.
• "Listen, here's the thing. If you can't spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker." - Mike McDermott (Rounders, 1998)
• Deal 'em, and read 'em. Ralph Malph
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."