10 Random Poker Quotes

• "I raise, therefore I am." - Howard Lederer
• "I thought it was jack's" - Phil Helmuth Jr. WSOP vs. Jason Lester
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• All I wanted in my divorce settlement was my computer - Pokerroom.com
• "I guess there's nothing left but all in." -Greg Raymer
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• "You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em." -Kenny Rogers
• I have two small pair.....8's and 8's.
• Two cowboys at table. One suddenly plunges a dagger through the hand of the other player, pinning the hand to the table. Then he says to his wounded opponent, "Sir, if that is not an ace of spades hidden beneath your hand, then I owe you an apology."