10 Random Poker Quotes

• I'm a better poker player than I am a player. -RedGrant
• Think of how stupid the median poker player is. By definition, half of them are dumber than that.
• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Any two cards can lose... and they usually do.
• The all-in play works everytime but once.
• The problem with slowplaying the nuts is that there might be somebody else slowplaying a hand they only think is the nuts. -Gary Carson
• Right now I only play online poker. If I ever play live poker, raise preflop with a good hand, get called by someone with a 52 who hits a straight, I am walking over to that person to knock out his teeth. Congratulations you idiot.
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"