10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• "You can shear a sheep many times; you can skin it only once." -- Amarillo Slim
• Where's the buffet? -Doyle Brunson
• You know that you've seen a lot of poker when three people are all in before the flop, two of them turn over aces and the other turns over kings, and the king hits on the river, and you say, "I've seen that before, and ...."
• God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffible game of his own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. --Gaiman and Pratchett's "Good Omens"
• I should have stayed home and played with myself.
• "I better straighten out my game, before I flush all my money down the toilet" - D. Drury
• I have found that when my reasoning for making a call amounts to, "Aww, fuck it." it is usually the wrong move.
• "All-in, bitches!!!"
• "you either live by the river or die by the river" why do i always seem to die