10 Random Poker Quotes

• I can't raise it up. - Cow Jacobs
• Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. - unknown
• women can't play poker cause they don't have the nuts
• Homer: Your mother has this crazy idea that gambling is wrong. Even though they say it's okay in the Bible. Lisa: Really? Where? Homer: Eh, somewhere in the back.
• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. — Steven Wright
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• Sex is like poker. It feels better to go all in. --Jarod Kintz
• For all you probability freaks, remember to consider the probability that an opponent is lying. Generally, liars dig holes and keep on lying, at least in the short run, as they try to climb out. Adjust your math prowess accordingly. Tells are paramount, as much or more as your calculating brain is. Poker becomes super-multi-variable when the psychological realm is joined with that already beautiful world of card probabilities. -- a mathematician
• Son, when a man bets you that the jack of spades will rise out of the dwck and squirt water in your ear: son, don't take that bet, for, as sure as eggs is eggs, you'll end up with a wet ear.