10 Random Poker Quotes

• Poker is like masturbating. It's fun, highly addictive, and eventually gives you the feeling of getting fucked.
• Always play hands where both hole cards are different suits. It doubles the possibility of hitting a flush. Anon.
• "You get your chips your way, I'll get my chips mine." (Phil Ivey, to Howard Lederer)
• "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."
• Poker players and police officers have alot in common. Hours and hours of boredom with a few moments of sheer terror.
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Fish don't eat Nutz!
• This above all else: To thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare
• The worst hand to have is the second best hand.
• "Never say 'Whoa' to a mud puddle" -- Anonymous $4-to-go NL A-5 Lowball Table, Cameo Club Palo Alto CA, 1977