10 Random Poker Quotes

• I've raised with cards less attractive than what's in my toilet after I took a dump in it. - Gus Hansen
• Got married to a hand, and discovered I got set up with a she-male.
• People who play poker should also try playing with sock puppets, or, in a more casual event, training ferrets. I hope this pleases fellow pokerites like it pleases me, daily. WOW im wet.
• Why not, when some because there are three.
• Nobody would play the game if the best hand always won. -Will Schwarz
• When I play badly, I lose fast. When I play well, I lose slowly. In a tournament, the net result is the same: I LOSE! - RH 11-6-05
• Upon entering a cardroom in which a player had never before played, he asked the floorman for a 10-20 hold-em seat. The floorman dutifully put him on the list and told him that the only available seat was at 3-6 Omaha HiLo. The player quipped, "No, I don't have enough money to play limits that high."
• "That's the best I ever misread a hand." Unknown NL holdem tourney player at Taj Mahal, December 2003, after going all in on the flop, mistakenly believing he had a flush, but rivering a flush anyway
• Poker - love the pain or play checkers. - MoeSyzslak
• If you lock 100 retards in a room and make them play a tournament, one of them has to win. If you do that in each state, you will produce 50 state champions. If you lock those 50 retards in a room, call it the Poker Championship of the Universe, one of them has to win, and then PokerStars gets 10%.